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ERMA BOMBECK
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SHARE Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving
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SHARE It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else
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SHARE There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child
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SHARE I am not a glutton. I am an explorer of food
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SHARE In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV
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SHARE Children make your life important
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SHARE If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead
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SHARE My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance
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SHARE I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
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SHARE Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth
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SHARE Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments
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SHARE It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding
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SHARE Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother
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SHARE A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat
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SHARE A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday
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SHARE Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other
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SHARE I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage
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SHARE Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery
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SHARE Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown
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SHARE Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
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SHARE Never have more children than you have car windows
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SHARE Never order food in excess of your body weight
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SHARE Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time
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SHARE Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy
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