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FUNNY LIFE
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SHARE Funny how you can live a whole life waiting and not know it
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SHARE You only become funny when you have a complete reverence for life
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SHARE Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home
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SHARE I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had
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SHARE If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered
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SHARE I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons
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SHARE You live and learn. At any rate, you live
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SHARE Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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SHARE Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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SHARE If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it
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SHARE Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim
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SHARE There must be more to life than having everything
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SHARE A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them
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SHARE I intend to live forever, or die trying
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SHARE Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow
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SHARE I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations
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SHARE If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life
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SHARE The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present
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SHARE The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life
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SHARE No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary
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SHARE The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation
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SHARE A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live
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SHARE The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not
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SHARE All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it
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MEMEY!